So apparently it's the first day of summer. Living somewhere that actually has seasons is refreshing, even if this particular season seems to make areas of my body sweat in volumes I would rather not talk about. I mean...one of the many questions I would ask the almighty creator would be "what in the hell is accomplished with sweat that can run down the crack of my back door business?" Let's talk necessity here. Have you ever thought to yourself, Self- 'Thank God I'm sweating like a whore in church, it is really cooling off my ass crack.' Or have you needed to jump in the pool while laying out because doing so will cool off your poop shoot? NO. I'm thinking that there are places that sweat glands should and should not be. Can I get an Amen? I will not bring up my dismay of sweaty buddha belly rolls. Sometimes, it's better to just stay inside. (a pondering just crossed my brain- maybe the sweaty crack is why all the gangsta wanna be's walk around with their underwear showing- letting that crack breath a little! Like a fine red wine).
Other questions I might consider posing to the One who knows everything-
1. See above paragraph
2. Who died and made you boss?
3. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
4. Where's the beef?
5. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
6. Does everyone think I'm hysterical or just the people that know me?
7. Why does my nose itch immediately after I put on sterile gloves?
8. If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one around to hear it, does it still make sound?
9. If a man talks in the woods and there is no one around to hear him, is he still wrong?
10. What is the purpose of the appendix (in our bodies, not the one in books, duh!)
11. Does that dress make my butt look fat?
12. Do all dogs go to Heaven?
13. Are we all really in the Matrix?
14. What is the purpose of life?
15. Could I dig my way to China?
16. Is there anybody OUT THERE?
17. Will you tell Beetle when she gets there that she really was THE BEST DOG EVER!
Dear One who knows everything-
I have enclosed these questions as a brief sampling of the many, many questions that plague us humans. We would like answers, either via email, text, or YouTube video.
Sincerely, Your faithful servant- Brooke-no-I-didn't-pee-my-pants-that's- just-my-ass-sweat-Albertson
Friday, June 21, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
June 17, 2013
So here I am- wondering what in the Sam Hill I've been doing that has kept me from blogging. I mean..let's be honest, I didn't expect my fast paced, glamorous lifestyle in Indianapolis to keep me so busy. What with all the traffic jams behind tractors and parades of Geese as well as standing in line at Walmart, I can't seem to find a free minute! Jealous aren't ya? Vegas has nothing on this place!
My ass size has resembled a slinky: wide then thin (-er). Not sure what that is all about. Oh..well there was the HCG diet that I did and lost 25 lbs. That was pretty cool, but even now while I'm staying at the same weight it seems to undulate for reasons I don't quite grasp. Is gravity different here in Indiana? Or is my buddha belly moving from front to back without my permission?
Another phenomena that I am none to pleased about is that A LOT of women in Indiana have cute short hair do's. I am no longer a hairstyle minority. It's like that craze for Jennifer Aniston's hairstyle back in the 90's. This must be a midwest thing. So of course I tried making my style somewhat more trendy, you know blow drying it more forward and such. Made me look like an elderly Justin Beiber. I thought about going all Miley Cyrus with the long mohawk thing, but realized, just in time, that she's been on the verge of going off the deep end and really I've done crazy and I'm all set with that. There was a brief thought on getting extensions and then I realized that I've got no funds for that unless I start manufacturing some sort of illegal substance with the ingredients of ephedrine, battery acid, and ground glass. We all know I can't cook and so I chalked up that potential money maker to lack of ability. So I guess I will grow out my fro which will put my hairstyle in the "MOM Zone" of hairstyles for the next gazillion years. UGH...no offense to any of you Moms. This isn't too bad if this is the worst tragedy I've had to endure so far.
My doctor actually asked me about my thoughts on having children. He gave me that "your clock is ticking and really if you're gonna do it you might want to think about cutting down on your shenanigans and look for a potential sperm donor/father/ child support provider" talk. I basically gave him my "if I wanted any oral diarrhea about my advanced maternal age, I would just ask my father for advice on this subject" look, but only replied with a very basic..yeah, I know.
Children. As in those beings that would inherit some of my genetics, and the genetics of someone who felt it was a good idea to procreate with me (God knows that automatically makes them not so bright). We're talking a child that could very well be snarky, smart, chubby, who excels at parallel parking. I think it's hard pressed to believe we need more of those types in the world. Although....passing on my charming sarcasm and unstoppable wit would be worth further consideration. To be honest, I would really only become impregnated if I accidentally fell on some sperm that just happened to be in my way and we all know I'm no Mary!
Dear Fertility Goddess-
Keep your crack whore ideas of me being a mother to yourself and stop trying to kick start my biological clock because it's really not a great idea. I mean really, my crowning achievement in the last 6 months is that I was able to mimic the hairstyle of a Teeny bopping man-child. So that's all I've got to say about that.
Your faithful servant- Brooke-cobwebs-in-my-uterus-Albertson
My ass size has resembled a slinky: wide then thin (-er). Not sure what that is all about. Oh..well there was the HCG diet that I did and lost 25 lbs. That was pretty cool, but even now while I'm staying at the same weight it seems to undulate for reasons I don't quite grasp. Is gravity different here in Indiana? Or is my buddha belly moving from front to back without my permission?
Another phenomena that I am none to pleased about is that A LOT of women in Indiana have cute short hair do's. I am no longer a hairstyle minority. It's like that craze for Jennifer Aniston's hairstyle back in the 90's. This must be a midwest thing. So of course I tried making my style somewhat more trendy, you know blow drying it more forward and such. Made me look like an elderly Justin Beiber. I thought about going all Miley Cyrus with the long mohawk thing, but realized, just in time, that she's been on the verge of going off the deep end and really I've done crazy and I'm all set with that. There was a brief thought on getting extensions and then I realized that I've got no funds for that unless I start manufacturing some sort of illegal substance with the ingredients of ephedrine, battery acid, and ground glass. We all know I can't cook and so I chalked up that potential money maker to lack of ability. So I guess I will grow out my fro which will put my hairstyle in the "MOM Zone" of hairstyles for the next gazillion years. UGH...no offense to any of you Moms. This isn't too bad if this is the worst tragedy I've had to endure so far.
My doctor actually asked me about my thoughts on having children. He gave me that "your clock is ticking and really if you're gonna do it you might want to think about cutting down on your shenanigans and look for a potential sperm donor/father/ child support provider" talk. I basically gave him my "if I wanted any oral diarrhea about my advanced maternal age, I would just ask my father for advice on this subject" look, but only replied with a very basic..yeah, I know.
Children. As in those beings that would inherit some of my genetics, and the genetics of someone who felt it was a good idea to procreate with me (God knows that automatically makes them not so bright). We're talking a child that could very well be snarky, smart, chubby, who excels at parallel parking. I think it's hard pressed to believe we need more of those types in the world. Although....passing on my charming sarcasm and unstoppable wit would be worth further consideration. To be honest, I would really only become impregnated if I accidentally fell on some sperm that just happened to be in my way and we all know I'm no Mary!
Dear Fertility Goddess-
Keep your crack whore ideas of me being a mother to yourself and stop trying to kick start my biological clock because it's really not a great idea. I mean really, my crowning achievement in the last 6 months is that I was able to mimic the hairstyle of a Teeny bopping man-child. So that's all I've got to say about that.
Your faithful servant- Brooke-cobwebs-in-my-uterus-Albertson
Monday, April 8, 2013
April 8, 2013
Online dating. I've been doing it for years...different sites, some free, some expensive. It's really just people wanting to connect on some level. In the end, does that level really matter? Do we just want the validation that a picture and some meaningless banter about ourselves on a profile make us worthy of the attention from the opposite sex? To have some sort of impact on someone else, hormone related or not, usually feels pretty damn good. Most people don't actually meet. There's a few conversations..usually getting to know each other questions, compliments being thrown around to show interest, but inevitably one or both people find someone more interesting to talk to. It ebbs and flows and people shut down the computer and walk back to their real lives. It's almost like it feeds some need..some intimate need for acceptance.
There are rare occasions when a spark actually lights a fire worth sitting around for awhile. At least you think so anyway. How do we really know anyone? There are so many people who don't know themselves. It's on a wing and a prayer that meeting a complete stranger turns out to be just who you imagined them to be by the implications they made in that profile, during those conversations. What comes first trust? or faith? Is there a difference? In the end, do we finally get it? We project onto relationships what we want from them. Usually some form of adoration and some feeling of security. It doesn't actually mean it exists..it just means we use our ego to put into place a silent sense of being that can neither be proven or denied---until it is.
Heartache comes from the expectation that someone values you as much as you value yourself, to believe they too have your best interest at heart. But be honest with yourself...who's interest is most important? Yours right? So why would you ever imagine that someone would chose you over themselves?
How do you prepare for eventual disappointment?
It's very simple. Never expect anything..good or bad...from anyone. Go out there and be your absolute self. No bells or whistles. The person that is you on good days and bad. Not the gift wrapped version. Be true to yourself. Do yourself a favor and be honest and true to the mind that you lay down with every night. Doing so means that you might realize who it is and what it is that really compliments that mind and the lifestyle it chooses to lead.
Brooke
`.
There are rare occasions when a spark actually lights a fire worth sitting around for awhile. At least you think so anyway. How do we really know anyone? There are so many people who don't know themselves. It's on a wing and a prayer that meeting a complete stranger turns out to be just who you imagined them to be by the implications they made in that profile, during those conversations. What comes first trust? or faith? Is there a difference? In the end, do we finally get it? We project onto relationships what we want from them. Usually some form of adoration and some feeling of security. It doesn't actually mean it exists..it just means we use our ego to put into place a silent sense of being that can neither be proven or denied---until it is.
Heartache comes from the expectation that someone values you as much as you value yourself, to believe they too have your best interest at heart. But be honest with yourself...who's interest is most important? Yours right? So why would you ever imagine that someone would chose you over themselves?
How do you prepare for eventual disappointment?
It's very simple. Never expect anything..good or bad...from anyone. Go out there and be your absolute self. No bells or whistles. The person that is you on good days and bad. Not the gift wrapped version. Be true to yourself. Do yourself a favor and be honest and true to the mind that you lay down with every night. Doing so means that you might realize who it is and what it is that really compliments that mind and the lifestyle it chooses to lead.
Brooke
`.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Donations for Leora Mason and Family
A classmate of mine from Loogootee High School graduating class of 1994 has been critically injured in an automobile accident. Leora Mason (Eccles) has been in the Intensive Care Unit in Indianapolis, Indiana since early March. She and her children walked away from the car accident that flipped the automobile, only for her to be at death's door in one week with an ischemic stomach and bowel. Multiple operations have rendered her without a stomach, a colon, and the majority of her small intestines. She has been living on life support with a Tracheostomy,ventilator and Intravenous nutrition. It is unsure at this time if she will survive. This is a catastrophic tragedy and her life and that of her family's lives will never be the same. Overwhelming medical bills and her husband unable to work will undoubtedly leave the Mason family in dire straights. The Loogootee High School class of 1994 would like to reach out to our friends and loved ones and ask for help in any monetary form to help us, help one of our own.
We all suffer. We are all at some point in time dependent on the generosity and kindness of strangers. Please- share this on your Facebook page. Let us do what we can.
Sincere Gratitude-
Brooke Albertson- Loogootee High School Class of 1994.
For the John "JD" Mason family, of Linton, the last few weeks have been a bit overwhelming, almost indescribable.
JD has spent hours and hours beside his wife's bedside at hospitals in Bloomington and Indianapolis hoping and praying that she will recover.
Today, JD's wife, Leora, is facing an uncertain future as she lays in the surgical intensive care unit at IU Health Hospital following what was a very unusual course of events after a traffic accident last month.
The wreck happened on the evening of Feb. 21, on an icy State Road 54. She was traveling west about 7:30 p.m. and lost control after she 'tapped' her brakes and ended up at the bottom of what is known as "Blue Barn Hill". Her 1997 Expedition hit a ditch on the northside of the road and landed upside down, according to her husband.
JD said his wife's seatbelt maybe have caused some of her current injuries.
"No one knows how long she was in the seatbelt before she was able to maneuver to release it," JD told the Greene County Daily World.
Leora was reported at the accident scene to be not hurt after being checked out by EMTs.
Her three children who were in the car ---- six-year-old Jayden Mason, five-year-old Madison Mason and 16-year-old Taylor Mason ---- were also not hurt.
"She thought she was okay," JD recalled on Thursday morning. "She went to Zumba the week following the wreck and was doing fine ... I guess she was hurt more than she thought she was."
Leora, who is the Human Resources Manager at Glenburn Home in Linton, reported to work the following day and she was admittedly sore, but didn't know something more serious may have been wrong.
Serious medical problems surfaced for the 37-year-old woman the evening of March 5.
About 7:30 p.m., she called her husband, who is a truck driver for K&S Trucking Company of Bloomington, and said she was very nauseous.
The call was followed by a round of the 'dry heaves' that lasted for more than three hours.
About midnight, 911 was called and Leora was transported to Greene County General Hospital in Linton.
Two hours later she was transported to IU Health Bloomington Hospital and the family learned that Leora's stomach was essentially clinically dead after a CAT scan exam was completed.
Apparently, blood flow was cut off during the wreck, causing serious damage to the stomach and intestines, JD said.
Leona, who formerly attended school at Bloomfield and graduated in 1994 from Loogootee High School, was placed in a medically-induced coma.
She underwent a pair of surgeries that night and another one the following day.
The Linton woman was then transferred to IU Health Hospital where two more surgeries were done that day ---- March 6.
All of Leora's stomach and large intestine have now been removed. In addition, 85 percent of her small intestine has been taken out.
She remained in a medically-induced come until March 19.
The mother of five is still very ill, according to her husband.
"It's a day by day thing," JD said.
Currently, she's on a ventilator, has a tracheotomy tube to provide an airway and to remove secretions from the lungs, and is getting her nutrition from a feeding tube.
The realities of Leora's condition are very clear to her husband.
"She's never going to be able to eat regular food again," JD slowly said.
He says his family is worried and concerned about their mother's health and future.
The younger children don't really understand everything that's happening, he said, but his older daughter realizes that things have changed for the Mason family.
However, he's confident his wife of eight years can make a recovery.
"I feel 100 percent that she's going to make it. It's just going to be a long road to recovery," JD stated.
Finances are a concern for JD.
His health insurance is being strained and he says it will 'run out' on March 31.
He's applied for Medicaid, but hasn't been approved yet.
"We're fighting for Medicaid. I'm off work due to he being in the hospital and trying to take care of things," JD stated.
The children are being cared for by his mother, Jayne Gregory and step-father, Ken Gregory, of Linton.
"We're just trying to do everything we can to help with all of these bills," he noted.
The Linton man says there has been a big outpouring of help, encouragement and prayers from many friends ---- especially his buddies at the Plummer River Rally.
Lucas Gechtman has organized a benefit raffle of a special Stihl chainsaw that was autographed by members of the band, Jackyl, that performed at the 2011 Plummer River Rally.
Ticket are $5 each or 5 for $20.
The raffle will end sometime in May, JD said.
Other fundraisers are in the planning stages.
A car wash is also being planned for the second or third week of April at the Auto Zone parking lot in Linton.
The first weekend in May, a softball and corn hole tournament is being organized in Jasonville.
Also, a motorcycle benefit ride is also being planned.
The family has established a special fund at Crane Federal Credit Union to help with Leora's medical expenses. Anyone can donate to the account by specifying that the money should go to the Leora Mason Fund.
To send a greeting card to Leora a special post office box has been set up. Mail all correspondence to Leora Mason, P.O. Box 326, Linton, IN 47441.
"We're just trying to do everything we can to help with bills," JD stressed.
As for the future, it remains unclear, but JD and family remain strong in their belief that things will work out.
"I believe thoughts and prayers 100 percent will help her," he concluded.
Local woman faces serious health issues weeks after car accident
Thursday, March 28, 2013
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Leora Mason
JD has spent hours and hours beside his wife's bedside at hospitals in Bloomington and Indianapolis hoping and praying that she will recover.
Today, JD's wife, Leora, is facing an uncertain future as she lays in the surgical intensive care unit at IU Health Hospital following what was a very unusual course of events after a traffic accident last month.
The wreck happened on the evening of Feb. 21, on an icy State Road 54. She was traveling west about 7:30 p.m. and lost control after she 'tapped' her brakes and ended up at the bottom of what is known as "Blue Barn Hill". Her 1997 Expedition hit a ditch on the northside of the road and landed upside down, according to her husband.
JD said his wife's seatbelt maybe have caused some of her current injuries.
"No one knows how long she was in the seatbelt before she was able to maneuver to release it," JD told the Greene County Daily World.
Leora was reported at the accident scene to be not hurt after being checked out by EMTs.
Her three children who were in the car ---- six-year-old Jayden Mason, five-year-old Madison Mason and 16-year-old Taylor Mason ---- were also not hurt.
"She thought she was okay," JD recalled on Thursday morning. "She went to Zumba the week following the wreck and was doing fine ... I guess she was hurt more than she thought she was."
Leora, who is the Human Resources Manager at Glenburn Home in Linton, reported to work the following day and she was admittedly sore, but didn't know something more serious may have been wrong.
Serious medical problems surfaced for the 37-year-old woman the evening of March 5.
The John "JD"and Leora Mason family.
(Submitted photos)
(Submitted photos)
The call was followed by a round of the 'dry heaves' that lasted for more than three hours.
About midnight, 911 was called and Leora was transported to Greene County General Hospital in Linton.
Two hours later she was transported to IU Health Bloomington Hospital and the family learned that Leora's stomach was essentially clinically dead after a CAT scan exam was completed.
Apparently, blood flow was cut off during the wreck, causing serious damage to the stomach and intestines, JD said.
Leona, who formerly attended school at Bloomfield and graduated in 1994 from Loogootee High School, was placed in a medically-induced coma.
She underwent a pair of surgeries that night and another one the following day.
The Linton woman was then transferred to IU Health Hospital where two more surgeries were done that day ---- March 6.
All of Leora's stomach and large intestine have now been removed. In addition, 85 percent of her small intestine has been taken out.
She remained in a medically-induced come until March 19.
The mother of five is still very ill, according to her husband.
"It's a day by day thing," JD said.
Currently, she's on a ventilator, has a tracheotomy tube to provide an airway and to remove secretions from the lungs, and is getting her nutrition from a feeding tube.
The realities of Leora's condition are very clear to her husband.
"She's never going to be able to eat regular food again," JD slowly said.
He says his family is worried and concerned about their mother's health and future.
The younger children don't really understand everything that's happening, he said, but his older daughter realizes that things have changed for the Mason family.
However, he's confident his wife of eight years can make a recovery.
"I feel 100 percent that she's going to make it. It's just going to be a long road to recovery," JD stated.
Finances are a concern for JD.
His health insurance is being strained and he says it will 'run out' on March 31.
He's applied for Medicaid, but hasn't been approved yet.
"We're fighting for Medicaid. I'm off work due to he being in the hospital and trying to take care of things," JD stated.
The children are being cared for by his mother, Jayne Gregory and step-father, Ken Gregory, of Linton.
"We're just trying to do everything we can to help with all of these bills," he noted.
The Linton man says there has been a big outpouring of help, encouragement and prayers from many friends ---- especially his buddies at the Plummer River Rally.
Lucas Gechtman has organized a benefit raffle of a special Stihl chainsaw that was autographed by members of the band, Jackyl, that performed at the 2011 Plummer River Rally.
Ticket are $5 each or 5 for $20.
The raffle will end sometime in May, JD said.
Other fundraisers are in the planning stages.
A car wash is also being planned for the second or third week of April at the Auto Zone parking lot in Linton.
The first weekend in May, a softball and corn hole tournament is being organized in Jasonville.
Also, a motorcycle benefit ride is also being planned.
The family has established a special fund at Crane Federal Credit Union to help with Leora's medical expenses. Anyone can donate to the account by specifying that the money should go to the Leora Mason Fund.
To send a greeting card to Leora a special post office box has been set up. Mail all correspondence to Leora Mason, P.O. Box 326, Linton, IN 47441.
"We're just trying to do everything we can to help with bills," JD stressed.
As for the future, it remains unclear, but JD and family remain strong in their belief that things will work out.
"I believe thoughts and prayers 100 percent will help her," he concluded.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
March 10, 2013
So there I was this morning-- Springing forward with the time change, all the while happy that I got out of working one hour! I'm finally on night shift and it feels uber fantastic to not have an enema of health care people while I do my job. It's amazing the resources this hospital system has and one can see why it's in the top 1% in the country. If someone would ask my opinion about how to cut health care cost (which of course, no one will) I would tell them flat out- cut the paychecks of the people passing legislation until they get a MANDATORY BSN and know what the hell they are talking about. Make them work in the county hospitals and nursing homes and see first hand the lives that are affected.
Officially exiting right off of my soap box.
I've been in Indiana for 5 months. 5 MONTHS...that's like half a year almost (duh...Walter says "dumb ass"). I can't quite believe how incredibly rocky this transition has been for me in some ways. Financially - a freakingdisasteronastick- but thankfully I had gold jewelry I could sell. Shut up - I'm not kidding. And I would like to thank my family for all of those beautiful pieces that I wore way back in the day when wearing the gold chain was cool and so was pegging my jeans. The other part is that it's kind of like an out of body experience. In a bad way- although I have no practical experience to distinguish between good or bad but let me just explain.
I tend to be a relatively friendly person. I talk to strangers, in bars mostly, but in all types of social settings when the mood strikes me. Now..I have more miles on me than Taylor Swift's vagina when being exposed to different cultures and races. I've dated White, Korean, Black, Hispanic Japanese-American, Irish, Hillbilly, Jehovah's Witness, Catholic, Atheist, and even the down right crazy types. What is happening here is that "friendly, chatty Brooke" is getting a lot of "what chu talkin bout Willis" looks from folks. As in..."Did that crazy white woman really just talk to me? what the hell she want?"
The majority of Hoosiers are white, black or Hispanic. And the Great Divide is on like Donkey Kong around here. I am really not surprised by this in some ways...I mean..history can be incredibly painful to overcome and folks just aren't in to stepping out of their comfort zone (padded walls are comfortable, yes?) It's just a shame that's all.
So...nasal douche...pros and cons- I prefer the terminology of nasal douching over "sinus rinse" as the use of the word douche is much more pleasing to my laugh factory. It's a great thing..being able to douche the general inside of my face...and it can be an effective form of suicide if someone were to inhale at the time of said douching. That is for real folks...a big sniff of salt water to the naso- pharynx and you'll be drowning in 2 teaspoons of fluid. Very very hilarious to watch.
Dear Obi One Keno be-
I don't have the slightest clue how to spell your name (should've just picked Yoda) - I want to thank you for the awesome Jedi mind tricks that you never taught me. For instance, how to not drown in 2 teaspoons of fluid- a friend I know could've used that information. But since I'm female and apparently there are only gross boy Jedi's (they may not be true- I don't know anything about Star Trek..or Wars? LOL WARS!!) Ok ...my lameness is a completely valid reason for not letting me in your club.
Your unfaithful servant- Brooke -Icould'vebeenkilledbyanettipot-Albertson
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
February 19, 2012
So there I was...walking down the street in hurricane like winds and a wind chill that would make a polar bear's balls shrivel....when I realized that my eye balls were frozen. Ok..maybe not frozen- frozen, but that semi frozen state that one might get if they take the ice cube trays out of the freezer before the ice is frozen all the way through. Yes..some of us still use ice cube trays. And yes we might be the same people that don't own a TV or a Microwave and instead of telling people the truth, that it's just not in the budget right now, someone might say it's because they are trying to eat healthier and don't believe in eating zapped food. That same person may also say that she doesn't own a TV because she doesn't watch TV, which would be true, but she would never admit that she wouldn't turn one down if someone wanted to give her one as a gift (42" LED Hi-def optional).
Anyway..walking down the street this afternoon in the eyeball freezing wind I realized something vital to my experience of being a returning Hoosier→I'm smart enough to know better than to walk down the street in eyeball freezing wind. HELLO! I keep hearing Jeff Dunham's puppet Walter saying "Dumbass". Rule #492 when there are other means of reaching a destination that don't involve freezing necessary anatomical parts, use it. Regardless of how painfully slow it is..People Mover my fat fanny- (I've seen marathons finish faster).
I shouldn't complain (read: I'm going to complain). I have a great job.. I think. I've spent the bulk of the last month in Central Nursing Orientation- the best thing I've learned so far, and the scariest, is that a liver can be 3/4 damaged before ever showing signs of liver disease. So I am even more pleased with myself for taking Milk Thistle when I drink. What is scary about all that liver talk is that all of a sudden we might end up looking like we got a bad bottle tan one day and the next thing ya know we're coo coo for cocoa puffs, being tied to a bed, and shitting ourselves to death. That seems like a bad end to a good time! Surely there's another way--- which got me to thinking about drinking and partying and the whole thing. What really is the purpose of drinking a few drinks.. to relax a little in an uncomfortable situation, unwind from a hectic day, to celebrate something, and all other kinds of things...but really think about that...do I really need a substance to help me feel comfortable talking to strangers or being in an awkward situation...um, NO-I'm sorry- have you met me: Queen of the inappropriate comment. To unwind from a hectic day, I have three words for you: crawl to bed; Celebrating something?? caffeinated cake would probably do the trick.As far as everything else goes...wait..am I actually trying to make some sort of argument about not drinking. Strike THAT from the record...not my intention. Was just wondering why I drink, because in reality liquor and beer don't taste great, aren't refreshing to me, and at the end of the day cost too much. Hmmm....I never considered not drinking.
Why start now, 3/4 of my liver could be shot to hell and I could very well be on my way to shitting myself to death and folks...THAT is a good reason to drink!
Cheers!
Brooke
Anyway..walking down the street this afternoon in the eyeball freezing wind I realized something vital to my experience of being a returning Hoosier→I'm smart enough to know better than to walk down the street in eyeball freezing wind. HELLO! I keep hearing Jeff Dunham's puppet Walter saying "Dumbass". Rule #492 when there are other means of reaching a destination that don't involve freezing necessary anatomical parts, use it. Regardless of how painfully slow it is..People Mover my fat fanny- (I've seen marathons finish faster).
I shouldn't complain (read: I'm going to complain). I have a great job.. I think. I've spent the bulk of the last month in Central Nursing Orientation- the best thing I've learned so far, and the scariest, is that a liver can be 3/4 damaged before ever showing signs of liver disease. So I am even more pleased with myself for taking Milk Thistle when I drink. What is scary about all that liver talk is that all of a sudden we might end up looking like we got a bad bottle tan one day and the next thing ya know we're coo coo for cocoa puffs, being tied to a bed, and shitting ourselves to death. That seems like a bad end to a good time! Surely there's another way--- which got me to thinking about drinking and partying and the whole thing. What really is the purpose of drinking a few drinks.. to relax a little in an uncomfortable situation, unwind from a hectic day, to celebrate something, and all other kinds of things...but really think about that...do I really need a substance to help me feel comfortable talking to strangers or being in an awkward situation...um, NO-I'm sorry- have you met me: Queen of the inappropriate comment. To unwind from a hectic day, I have three words for you: crawl to bed; Celebrating something?? caffeinated cake would probably do the trick.As far as everything else goes...wait..am I actually trying to make some sort of argument about not drinking. Strike THAT from the record...not my intention. Was just wondering why I drink, because in reality liquor and beer don't taste great, aren't refreshing to me, and at the end of the day cost too much. Hmmm....I never considered not drinking.
Why start now, 3/4 of my liver could be shot to hell and I could very well be on my way to shitting myself to death and folks...THAT is a good reason to drink!
Cheers!
Brooke
Saturday, February 9, 2013
February 8, 2013
Sometimes the heart breaks in order for it to get bigger.
To no longer be fixed in a place of comfort, but to grow in a space of challenge and acceptance of the task to conquer those challenges.
Love and happiness are not pulled from a shelf, dusted off, and then put back on display.
They are worn in our voices, our posture, our smiles; they exist in our actions. They may come from within, but often times we take our own thoughts as the last ones to believe in. I needed to be shown what real love and happiness is. Everyone defines it differently to them, and for me it required a lot of consistency- 9 months of pushing him away and him being able to love me through his own heart break. I begged him to let me go. His love was too painful for me. Until the day I woke up and realized I deserved it. But by then, it was too late, he had let me go.
I struggle between moving forward in the hope of one thing or moving forward in the moment of the day at hand. Hope is a prison and a paradise.
I will continue to hope.
Hi Love-
I miss your great smile. I hear it over the phone, but it's not the same. I miss the eyes that took one look and knew what I was thinking and feeling. The feeling of your arms around me and my head on your chest..healing and accepting. But I can't live in that space..I visit it temporarily..any longer and I would drown. I think of you laughing and being comfortable and happy in your life. Of being the guy who is just trying to do the best that he can. What's that Garth Brooks song..."The Dance"- I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go.... I could've missed the pain, but I'd had to miss the dance.
Always-
B.
To no longer be fixed in a place of comfort, but to grow in a space of challenge and acceptance of the task to conquer those challenges.
Love and happiness are not pulled from a shelf, dusted off, and then put back on display.
They are worn in our voices, our posture, our smiles; they exist in our actions. They may come from within, but often times we take our own thoughts as the last ones to believe in. I needed to be shown what real love and happiness is. Everyone defines it differently to them, and for me it required a lot of consistency- 9 months of pushing him away and him being able to love me through his own heart break. I begged him to let me go. His love was too painful for me. Until the day I woke up and realized I deserved it. But by then, it was too late, he had let me go.
I struggle between moving forward in the hope of one thing or moving forward in the moment of the day at hand. Hope is a prison and a paradise.
I will continue to hope.
Hi Love-
I miss your great smile. I hear it over the phone, but it's not the same. I miss the eyes that took one look and knew what I was thinking and feeling. The feeling of your arms around me and my head on your chest..healing and accepting. But I can't live in that space..I visit it temporarily..any longer and I would drown. I think of you laughing and being comfortable and happy in your life. Of being the guy who is just trying to do the best that he can. What's that Garth Brooks song..."The Dance"- I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go.... I could've missed the pain, but I'd had to miss the dance.
Always-
B.
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