April 8, 2013

Online dating. I've been doing it for years...different sites, some free, some expensive. It's really just people wanting to connect on some level. In the end, does that level really matter? Do we just want the validation that a picture and some meaningless banter about ourselves on a profile make us worthy of the attention from the opposite sex? To have some sort of impact on someone else, hormone related or not, usually feels pretty damn good. Most people don't actually meet. There's a few conversations..usually getting to know each other questions, compliments being thrown around to show interest, but inevitably one or both people find someone more interesting to talk to. It ebbs and flows and people shut down the computer and walk back to their real lives. It's almost like it feeds some need..some intimate need for acceptance.
There are rare occasions when a spark actually lights a fire worth sitting around for awhile. At least you think so anyway. How do we really know anyone? There are so many people who don't know themselves. It's on a wing and a prayer that meeting a complete stranger turns out to be just who you imagined them to be by the implications they made in that profile, during those conversations. What comes first trust? or faith? Is there a difference? In the end, do we finally get it? We project onto relationships what we want from them. Usually some form of adoration and some feeling of security. It doesn't actually mean it exists..it just means we use our ego to put into place a silent sense of being that can neither be proven or denied---until it is.
Heartache comes from the expectation that someone values you as much as you value yourself, to believe they too have your best interest at heart. But be honest with yourself...who's interest is most important? Yours right? So why would you ever imagine that someone would chose you over themselves?
How do you prepare for eventual disappointment?
It's very simple. Never expect anything..good or bad...from anyone. Go out there and be your absolute self. No bells or whistles. The person that is you on good days and bad. Not the gift wrapped version. Be true to yourself. Do yourself a favor and be honest and true to the mind that you lay down with every night. Doing so means that you might realize who it is and what it is that really compliments that mind and the lifestyle it chooses to lead.

Brooke
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