Stop being selfish with your resolutions

There are thousands of things one can choose to 'work on' and 'aim for' in their life. Everything can be improved upon. Even by the 1% percent rule- being 1% better today than you were yesterday will leave you leaps and bounds better after 365 days. That's the effect of compounding interest. One of the goals that I wanted to tackle in 2024 was my haystack hair. It is so dry and rats so easily. Also, my face. I wanted to find the right products, makeup, and routine to give me a young, dewy, glowing complexion. 

But why?

Why is it that of all the things I can work on, all the resolutions I can make- I picked things pertaining to the imperfect things about my appearance? Do I struggle with low self-esteem? Do I seek the approval of others on superficial levels because that is all I find valuable?  Am I so shallow that my preferences in others relate to these same things? Who am I judging and comparing myself to, that I find myself coming up short? Am I lowering my potential because of  the bar that society has set?

Do you know what you want in life? 

Can you articulate the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual goals for your one, singular life?

If you can- I would ask you "Are those yours, or society's?'.

If you can't- I would ask you "How do you know what to go towards?". How do you know what to ask God for if you don't know what you want? (Hint- let's want to be closer to God).

The purpose of life is not a wrinkle free face, an immaculate retirement portfolio, or even the knowledge and wisdom of the ages. What will those things gain you? What will those things protect you from? How will those things feed your soul? I suppose that desiring these things, in and of themselves, isn't a bad thing, but ultimately, in our striving for love, joy, and belonging they are mere crumbs leading us away from the true source of all that we search for and need. I believe every person on this earth feels a restless and urgent need for something that they can't put into words. That feeling of lost car keys, waking up late after the alarm didn't go off, or having a word just on the tip of your tongue- leaves you feeling off kilter a bit or even unknown to yourself. 

So, what is the purpose of life? What should we be resolving to do every New Year? What is our aim and our goal? What is a worthwhile quest for this one singular life? What is good and noble and right?

Truthfully, we are wise enough to know that the material and sense feeding things of this world will not quench our need for love, acceptance, and belonging. The wonderful truth of it all is that when we lead our lives from a place of being loved and accepted, then all we can do is thrive; all we can do is live into other people's lives for the better. Our Lord God loves and accepts us just the way we are. 

What does that look like on any given Sunday, Tuesday, or New Year's Day?

It involves the acceptance of being a part of something bigger than just your one life. 

It means a reconciliation between the life society has placed on a pedestal and the ultimate reality of finding the community of relationships that lend purpose and meaning to your existence. Living for your joy and happiness will assure your misery. Living each day as an opportunity to show loving kindness to others will assure you a life of fulfillment and meaning. Share a smile, hold a door, wish someone good luck, listen intently, give a hug, provide a hot meal - these are the things that love does. The purpose of life- is to be love, to act lovingly, and to maintain those abilities in the worst of times- just like Jesus did. 

New Year's Resolutions

 January 1, 2024

I felt it fitting that I didn't post one blog in 2023. It was a bit of a mean year. A sort of grumpy year for me. Prickly. Don't get me wrong, my year was also AMAZING!

I think this is probably the first real sign of old age. This vague sense of grump. Noticing weird body aches and pains, hearing my inner voice say "Does this music have to be so loud?" or some other complaint, and the enjoyment of bird watching. Why does this start happening to the majority of us in middle age?

As it turns out, I have a few thoughts on that. 

We're freaking over it already. Our minds have been spiraling in multiple directions for decades now and we just need things to shush for Pete's sake. OVER STIMULATION is totally for the 20 and 30 somethings. By 40- we want to have some control over the 3-ring circus that is 'life-work balance'. I also think we spend so much more time engaging in conversations that never actually happen, that by the time we get a moment of peace, we just need silence. The space that the imaginary conversations take up in our minds is absurd, and frankly, I'm sick of hearing it! Shut up, Brooke! Stop with the nonsense and go meditate. I am capable of calmness. 

At our age- we aren't developing our character or molding some public persona- when we are out in public, it is on purpose for some sort of utility to our lives. We no longer need to be coaxing people into thinking we are interesting, intelligent, and irreplaceable because we know we are all those and so much more. Because many of us have suffered through the hard thing, or things, and have a sense of sturdiness in who we are, the music can be turned down. We don't have to hide behind the loud drums or head banging guitar solos. We are who we have become. Take it or leave it. 

Which is why New Year's resolutions don't work on us. We do things when they need to get done. We buy things for ourselves when we need them. We'll make lifestyle changes when staying on the same course becomes more painful then trying something new, something better for us. Our risk and reward decision making process has gotten very streamlined. "What's the worst that's going to happen? I lose $2000 dollars? I've spent more for less important things." 

No. I'm not making New Year's Resolutions. What I am going to do is challenge myself to a new healthy habit each month. By the end of the year I hope to have:

    1. Walked 30 minutes every day.

    2. Read/Listen to a book once a month.

    3. Incorporate a skin care routine daily.

    4. Spent a day with my niece and nephew once a month.

    5. Incorporated specific proactive wellness practices. 

    6.  Chosen healthy meals when eating out.

    7. Stopped drinking coffee and soda, drink water and coconut water.

    8. Been intentional with my shopping. Shop local, made in the USA, Organic.

    9. Limited my alcohol intake to 2 drinks in one sitting. 

    10. Stuck to a sleep routine.

    11. Practiced gratitude daily.

    12. Prayed and meditated consistently. 

Happy for me in the New Year.