There is a question I've been asking much more frequently these days.
"What is wrong with people?"
Personally, I have asked this question most recently about a variety of topics:
Puppy mills, child abuse and neglect, any and all types of violence, up to and including murder. Sometimes in response to reading the news or watching a news clip-- "What is wrong with these people?" ISIS, human traffickers, Catholic priests who have sexually abused children, a President who literally calls people names, as if he were on a school playground.
The slanderous name calling of those on different political sides, the incivility toward each other based on presumptions that seem to require no fact checking or follow up questioning. How did hatefulness become the path of least resistance? Where or when did our rose colored glasses turn into the image at the end of a barrel? How did foe become the default assumption?
Why do you hate me? Imagine that being asked today by people from different backgrounds, cultures, ages, sexes, races, and sexual identity.
The answers would be quite eye opening, I'm sure. Heartbreaking and convicting all at the same time.
Interestingly, I hope anyway, most people wouldn't be able to name specific people, but rather after a few names they would have to admit that it isn't the actual person, but that it is the group, or side, or belief that they stand on. We are all too familiar with the groups- I'm fairly certain that I don't have to name names to make this point. What it boils down to are the two main culprits that are alive and well in our society- us and them. If you are not for us, you're against us. The lines have been drawn in the sand. Which side to choose?
The last time I checked- there was no requirement to choose. How did we come to the point of accepting the way the media portrays the issues affecting our country as being only two sided? For or against. When did we give them the power to define sides and then explicitly give reason and meaning to those in opposition?
Black Lives Matter- if you don't think so it's because you are racist.
Make America Great Again- if you don't support it then you don't believe in patriotism and support of the foundations this country was built on, and are probably a Socialist.
Me Too-if you don't support the women who have spoken out against violence, harassment, and sexism, then you must think that women are partly at fault, or asking for it, for how they were treated.
Gun Control Laws- if you don't support gun control legislation then you are fine with the threat of mass shootings, even if children are the potential targets.
Behind each of these narratives are the people who have endured through the worst of what could be dealt to them. The mothers and fathers of those who have been killed by police without provocation, whose children died at the school in an unthinkable act of violence, of those who live in the grips of systemic poverty and social injustice, and being raised in an environment that has stopped trying to fight it anymore. Enduring the harassment of men because you have been groomed to believe that you owe them for your job, your home, your security, or some other thing, and feeling unworthy of acceptance and belonging unless you wear skirts and heels.
In all things, there is a bigger picture, a wider angle that diffuses the intensity of each individual's experiences. That is not fair. It would be similar to telling someone having a panic attack to just quit stressing about it. Right, because they never thought about that before. Or telling a woman to just leave their relationship, their job, or their home - just do it, doesn't work. It's complex, multifaceted and deserving of patience and respect from those on the outside of it. We've all heard the cliche` that everyone is going through struggles, or not to judge someone until you've walked in their shoes. We need to be much more curious then certain about our reaction to any of the us vs them topics. As human beings we have the capacity to reason, to take into account multiple variables and come to a conclusion. It might be difficult to hear, but our self-righteous indignation, arrogant assumptions of what it is like being in their shoes, and any other topic that you have no first hand experience with, has no place if you have not moved in closer to "them" to understand their struggles, fears, obstacles, and dreams. People are not statistics. The parents of children killed in mass school shootings are not comforted by the statistics of how much less gun violence there is over the last 50 years, and shame on us for thinking it should. Ditto for the families who have lost a loved one due to an interaction with a police officer, or the women who have endured the unwanted sexual advances in the American work force and the powerlessness they have had over it for so many decades, just because there are women who will fabricate such things.
It is not "Us the people, of the United States of America- or "Them the people" it is WE the people.
And the Pledge of Allegiance- is to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Not just for democrats or republicans, not just for the red states or the blue states. We are all covered by that flag, and to maintain liberty and justice for all, we can't be "us or them".
There are entities at work, attempting to divide and conquer, our great nation. Media is no longer trust worthy, and to know something for sure, will take us moving in and meeting our neighbors and loving them like ourselves.
