October 30, 2011

Let me start from the beginning...I feel that my judgment should at least be well informed.

Imagine waking up after 12 hours in bed, most of it sleeping, and feeling like it was merely a cat nap. Your body heavy, your mind sluggish. You drink some caffeine to get going, diet of course because really..who wants to drink those extra calories. The dog goes out for her bathroom break and life continues in a state of what you have decided is "getting older". Everyone feels like this to some extent. Exercise is attempted only to bring a different level of exhaustion. Body aches. Headaches. Aches are fine. Aches are NOT scary. It's the "aging process". Stabbing abdominal pain... that is scary.  Doctor Wonderful orders me to not eat spicy food and stop with the caffeine (how the hell am I going to stay awake without caffeine?). When I go back he orders a pill. In the meantime I am so distraught with the very nature of my health. Starting to realize that this is not just an "aging" process. My fatigue was addressed by ordering basic lab tests by Dr. Wonderful. They came back normal and therefore the investigation was stopped. Every aspect of my life was becoming affected. I gave up and decided it was just my "depression" playing physical tricks on me. The Psychiatrist ordered another pill. So now on sleeping pills, pain pills, muscle relaxants, anti-depressant, birth control pills (because seriously- how could I muster the energy to take care of a child), antacids, vitamins, and high doses of B-12 to get any little energy kick possible. I have an entire reusable grocery bag full of pill bottles and supplements to help me feel better, all the while feeling like I was putting more than one foot in the grave.
I stopped the diet pepsi cold turkey and started weeding meat out of my diet. I went to Indiana to visit.

What a visit that was. My sister and my Mom had gone to an event with this psychic medium a month prior and arranged for all of us to meet with him in a more intimate setting. This guy really DOES see dead people. As sure as I am that the sky is blue and that there are "psychics" who read right into your wallet, this guy was for real. I will lay down my life (what little is left of it!) and tell you that we are surrounded by our loved ones that have passed on and that there is something greater in store for us. Riding on the complete mind bend of our visit with Rick, the seeing dead guy...I was a little less skeptical of John the Amish guy who reads your iris to look for health problems. It's called iridology, there are books on this people, and I can't make this stuff up. John looked into my eye and his first "diagnosis" was that I had a hiatal hernia (your stomach gets pulled up through your diaphragm-something it isn't supposed to do), I had a foot and knee issue, an acidic system, and gravely, at the end of our little "office visit" -(read: pole barn on a farm) he said there was something wrong with my breast. He made me promise that I would get it looked in to. I know..it's bizarre.

So once back in Vegas, and still having abdominal pain but now feeling happier about it do to the anti-depressant, I went back to Dr. Wonderful and he FINALLY ordered an upper GI study. As an after thought I asked if he would order a baseline mammogram, just in case. He obliged and I was beginning to think I wouldn't burn him at the stake after all. I was on my new "vegetarian" - no soda diet and feeling very "granola" shopping at Whole Foods. Just being in that store makes me want to burn incense and braid my hair. I picked up a book "The Beginner's Guide to Natural Living" by Larry Cook. I figured if I'm going to overhaul my life I might as well do it up right! (except no Tom's toothpaste...yuck). After blowing through the book in like 2 days, I decided to investigate the local naturopathic doctors. There was one recommended by the American Association of Naturopaths. I went with him. I really felt like there was some truth behind the idea that our western medicine is keeping us ill. Pill after pill with no relief in sight.

Dr. S. was sweeping his sidewalk when I arrived for my appointment. He brought me in and gave me the usual questionnaire to fill out. He looked over the answers, asked some fairly vague questions and looked at the normal lab results I brought in. He had me sit on his exam table and said something about blah blah kinesiology and had me hold out my arms straight in front of me with my fingers interlaced. He asked me to resist his attempt to push my arms down, and I did (I mean, he is kind of old, it wasn't that daunting of a task) and I could keep my arms up, he was pushing pretty hard though. He talked about the electromagnetic force of our bodies and how our bodies and everything on this planet really has a flow of energy. When the "force" combines with something it will either make it stronger or weaker, due to the electromagnetism or something, I didn't quite get what he was saying. To demonstrate he had me hold a pill bottle in my hand and for the life of me I can't remember what it said on the side. I held the bottle between my hands and interlaced my fingers again. He asked me to resist against him, but this time I could not. My arms fell away like a rag doll. The bottle wasn't heavy or anything. At this point I was wishing I had paid closer attention to what he had been saying. He said that the body doesn't want to "hold on" to things it doesn't need. That when something weakens the system it would be extremely hard for me to resist against his force. And if a substance strengthens me and my system, then he could jump up and down and find it hard to overcome my resistance. He then began touching with his fingertips various spots on my body..energy channels that correspond to the different organs. I would hold out my arms and he would touch a channel with one hand and with the other he would attempt to push down my arms. If a certain channel was weak (due to disease, injury, whatever) my arms would fall away again like a rag doll. With each spot he would say something like- "Your lungs are good. You have two leaking heart valves. Kidneys are good. Spleen good. You have a hiatal hernia (just like the Amish guy said!) Liver is good. Problem with your right ovary. Uterus is good (that's what HE said!) and on and on. When he got to my right breast, my arms fell away and he asked what was wrong with my breast. I said I didn't know. He said "it's probably a cyst or something, we'll find out". All the while, the exotic receptionist-medical assistant was taking notes.
He sat me up and began pulling down bottles from the wall of bottled remedies. Remember..if I held something in my hand that my body is strengthened by he would be unable to push my arms down, and vice versa. He had remedies for Multiple Sclerosis, lyme disease, heavy metals, cancer, diabetes, kidney disease..everything you can imagine. So we went through every bottle. The bottles that contained something that made me stronger were set to one side. Treatment for Multiple Sclerosis- I didn't need that. Cancer treatment- 5-7 bottles of different cancer treatments made me stronger. My body was showing an affinity, a need, for that remedy. Shit. fuck damn. We stopped and talked about it. "Do you have a lump?" he asked. No. I mean..of course..a million lumps and bumps. Nothing that has ever stood out. "Well." and he tilted his chin down and looked at me over his glasses. "I think what's going on in your breast might be malignant." I exhaled. he encouraged me to not worry because we were going to take care of it. (Oh...don't worry. Ok). Then, he started turning a few of the bottles around so I could read the labels. angio-something (stops the growth of blood vessels to the site of the cancer) and so on it went, and then there was one for Parkinson's Disease. What the hell? He asked Miss Exotic to pull out one of the questionnares I had answered. There was a Parkinson's questionnare. I had one symptom. We talked briefly about the fact that I also had an affinity for the treatment of Parkinson's. I had the flashing vision of being a one boobed twitching drooling mess. Fanfuckingtastic.
This bottle holding, arm resisting went on for 2 hours. Then he began ordering lab tests. Radiology tests. We would get confirmation the good old fashioned Western way.

The diagnostic mammogram was negative as well as the ultrasound of the breast. Yay! Other tests are pending. Some tests I had to go to Dr. Wonderful for and he basically patted me on the head and prescribed another anti-depressant. There there young lady...just take this pill and it will be all better.

so---what's better? what path to choose? Who to give my business to? My health? My life?
I'm frustrated. I'm disgusted. But what I do know is that I want to minimize the toxins and poisons going in my body. Aspartame toxicity? Very much so. Cancer? Parkinsons? I guess I'll have to just take that a day at a time.

Martini's aren't bad for us are they???

October 16, 2011

So there I was...in a lovely blue hospital gown...drinking barium (read chalkletmilk) preparing for some "live exrays". My health has really become a problem. The stabbing stomach pains that go unrelenting for hours, no tums, maalox or apple cider vinegar could touch. Lortab and ambien is the only combination I found to make it better. My first week of a vegetarian diet has been completed. No more diet sodas. That was not a misprint. I'm off the diet pepsi. But I am a long way from feeling better. during the exam the barium lights up black in my colon and the doc had to literally rearrange my internal parts with a paddle board to see what he needed to see. The words "this isn't supposed to be here" being pointed to a shadowy black smudge on the screen were helpful in lowering my stress level, NOT. But the words- your report will be sent to your doctor in about 5-7 business days- did induce an amount of annoyance with the system that would be better handled in a women's prison. I've made an executive decision. If medications offered to me do NOT FIX THE PROBLEM but only take care of the symptom..I'm not interested. We've got big government and bigger business fucking up the food we eat, the soil we grow it in, and then not disclosing these atrocities. All the while the American public is living in the sick cycle of death. Clogged arteries? We'll bypass them. Stroked out, we'll rehab them. What about HEALTH CARE THAT CARES FOR HEALTH , not the endless search for solutions. Help us be healthy....STOP POISONING OUR FOODS, TREATING OUR WATER WITH FLUORIDE. I wouldn't get so sick if the food provided to the average American wasn't loaded with genetically modified organisms, antibiotics, stress hormones, pesticides..and the medical conglomerate's big fix is throw in more pills and antibiotics while the dance continues. We're paying to be kept ill. I for one refuse to do it anymore. I have health care concerns. Potentially life threatening issues....It's time to put the theory to the test. The body will heal itself if given the proper tools. I am seeking the help of  a Naturopathic MD. I hope to document it here, to educate, to form a community that knows there needs to be a shift in the way healthcare is practiced today. Or potentially disprove the whole food supplements, chiropractic treatments, organic diet. I guess we'll see.

Dear Allah,
Could you please instill a conscience into the "machine of illness"  that make and dispense products for human consumption. And could the smart minds in our doctors across this country realize that cure is what we need. Not..stay sick, but not feel it with this pill.

Starting week two of my vegetarian lifestyle.