Heavenly Father,
There is such a deafening noise in life that makes it so hard to hear you. I know that you are always there, but I hate how long I can go without connecting to you. Beautiful music that praises your love, grace and mercy tend to make me well up if I have been too long in life and too short in worship. Thank you for this moment that I have with you, and all those before and to follow. You deserve so much more than I have given. You give eternity, and I give mere minutes a day. It is embarrassing how I have disobeyed your commandments while practically looking you in the eye. How ungrateful my heart must be and how utterly profound your love must be.
I listen for you and expectantly wait for our connection. I know when it is you because you are always strong, and good and right. You make sure that I understand what you mean. These things I have obeyed. In your usual fashion, you fill my life with blessings. The difficult blessings are my badges of honor. I came home when you said to and I battled with myself for the identity that I thought I had to define. I know all to well that those battles are self-inflicted torture. You just want me to be yours. How many times do I need to have you prove that it is your light that feeds me, protects me, loves me and grows me? Not the light of this world, but your light in the world.
How can I help make things better? The current events filling the world are quite possibly the worst best thing that could have happened. Coronavirus- quarantine, shelter in place, stay home, no work, no gatherings. Just be. It is a place of shadows; this world. The left ear won't believe what the right ear is hearing. Every situation has a side- it's just that the situation isn't one dimensional, but more like a Rubik's Cube. There is an ever increasing demand that there be agreement on all facets of a situation less one be shamed and ridiculed by the Pope, the poet, and the poor man. Living in a time with so much information available irrationally makes us think that our thoughts are the right thoughts and the only possible option. We feed on the news that dresses up our own view point as the Belle of the Ball and be damned if anyone should hint at having more than one Belle at a time. The razor thin line between them and us has gotten so tangled in personal judgments and petty self- promotion, rather than intellectual discourse, that it now looks like barbed wire. Both sides end up a bloody mess.
I am beginning to understand more about you as The Truth. You never meant for our understanding of your Truth to be engraved in stone, did you? Is it that Truth is what is lived out by loving our neighbor as ourselves? One's behavior, when it is an extension of that love, leads to the greatest experience of truth. Your Truth is giving up our love of ourselves to others so that they are wholly loved by you, through each of us. How did we start believing that truth was all or nothing, black or white, up or down?
Thank You for this life. IJNIP, Amen.
