December 31, 2012

So here I am, sitting in my cozy little apartment in Indianapolis. On New Year's Eve. Alone.
I laugh at the idea that I couldn't think of anything I wanted to do more than this. It doesn't help that the snot slide now in use on the front of my face leads me to believe that I'm not suitable for the public. I was given a binder of all of my blogs from my sister Kelly for Christmas. Reading them, completely sober, I still laugh out loud. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

I'm trying to conjure up the strength to make a list of New Year's Resolutions....which I will aptly title : Things I very highly doubt I will ever do in 2013
          1. Begin to exercise.  (I feel it's time for someone to rewrite the definition of exercise)
   Now I know there's some uber excited Barbie look alike- Richard Simmons sounding guru out there that would say that my first goal is not specific enough and therefore doomed to fail...so before you people go all ape shit on me..I'll start over and try to be more specific.

1. Participate in some form of activity that requires motion of my body that would not otherwise be done, on a daily basis lasting somewhere between 5-60 minutes.

2. Eat foods that are actually made of food. Basically limit the amount of maltodextran, sodium benzoate, and other unknown foreign substances. Maybe starting with adding an apple a day.

3. Floss everyday.

4. Take my vitamins and whole food supplements every day.

5. Meditate, not just when in line at Walmart in an attempt to thwart my desire to pummel the person in front of me with a can of corn because of a ridiculous price check.

6. never make a list of things to do more than 5 items long. Let's not get stressed out about being overly busy!

Dear Holiest of Holies- It was awesome that the world didn't in fact END this month. But with that being said I would like to put in a few requests for 2013.. Please, enough snow already. If you have any ideas about unplanned pregnancies, please surprise those who are excited by the prospect. May the Fiscal Cliff  drop us all off into a huge pile of Gold at the end of the unseen Rainbow. Last. but MOST importantly, let the pregnancy of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West not end with the birth of the worlds largest ego maniac (Thanks my friend for that perfect description). Your faithful Servant Brooke, this snot slide is not open to the public, Albertson