Does anyone else freak out when getting a massage? You know...they "step out" to let you get undressed and it's like BAM!!!! How fast can I possibly take my clothes off and place them somewhat neatly (read: ugly lady undergarments hidden from sight) and jump over the table a la the Duke's of Hazzard so that I might get under the covers before the masseuse walks back in. Is it just me? And seriously..after working up a sweat it usually takes them a good 3 minutes more before they ever even knock..so why am I complete lunatic....?? Seriously...this person is about to rub their lotioned up hands all over my body- like touching skin on skin- and I'm worried that someone might see my opossum (yes it is spelt with an o- I know things!) OH...you gave me that look because I called my woman-ness a North American Marsupial. Hey..it's better than cheeseburger- or snatch. Really - snatch..how completely foul of a word...although I do kinda giggle when I say it. Snatch. Ridiculous right? Every time I see that title for the movie Brad Pitt was in I just cringe..I haven't even watched it for fear of it being about a bunch of funky vaginas.
I feel this might not be appropriate water cooler conversation but definitely appropriate Happy Hour conversation! Please......discuss.
But really..is it just me in the Speed Undressing Olympics??
On a more serious note. Nah. Never mind. Yeah--- like I could go without speaking my mind. Something tragic happened in Connecticut on Dec 14, 2012. Young Children were killed. I don't really consider myself "media" but I would hate to be a hypocrite- The Media sensationalizes everything! Maybe if people started realizing that negative attention is still attention then we wouldn't be having all these students "Columbine-ing" all over this damn country. I understand that news is news, but in my opinion news is one thing and the complete and utter destruction of lives is another. I realize that in other countries there are teachers who carry guns on field trips and that suicide bombers are a dime a dozen and in that regard we don't know anything when it comes to public acts of violence. I would just like to ask about how many inner city schools have deaths by violence that we never hear about??? Is one students life lost more tragic than another because of their economic social status? Has anyone else noticed this? Do we not hear about Gangs shooting up schools because it doesn't happen? Because they know that shit is fucked up! and they do all their shootin' on the mean streets?? And seriously- I would like..just once- a news anchor to say- "26 people were killed at an Elementary School by some obviously psychotic, desperately pathetic loser" what are they worried about...hurting a murderous assholes feelings? Is there some reason why these nut jobs aren't called out at face value? Why are we so willing to spare society an accurate description of the assailant being totally and completely vicious? Freedom of Speech goes in all directions. Do you think the majority of people feel that the parents had NO IDEA their kid was going to go ballistic someday? That they didn't have the slightest inkling that maybe he was 20 paces off center and not even therapy and drugs were helping him. How many teachers did he pass by that knew he was whacked out when he, himself was in school? Why aren't these desperately sick kids getting help, even if it means institutionalization? Why? Because instead...we load them up with anti psychotics, anti-anxiety, anti-mentally insane drugs and keep our fingers crossed that they take them everyday. Let's just hope for the best that little Johnny behaves.
I'm taking donations for the purchase of a Caribbean Island for those who have been tested and found to be not crazy. Any takers on real estate?
Dear God-
It's beyond any one's comprehension as to how someone could kill 26 people, with 20 of those not even having an age in the double digits. From Tsunamis to murderous acts of insanity- this Christmas season is marked by way to many people as a time to mourn. My heart reaches out, not to the dead and their living counter parts- but to the remaining of us who have been so blessed to go unscathed, to do what is right. Help us help each other. Help us put aside our pride, our fear, and our disinterest to reach out and do what is absolutely essential.
Your faithful servant- Brooke-current gold medalist in the undressing Olympics- Albertson
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