August 22, 2011

So there I was....(There you were!     bravo..you're learning). So proud of my healthy shopping spree at Whole Foods Sunday morning and feeling like a million bucks and after a restful day of sleep in preparation for my long 12 hour night shift at the hospital I woke up and  to my utter annoyance, no scratch that, to my fucking complete disbelief and core shaking rage that my refrigerator is again ...warm. My frozen foods could be cut with a butter knife. If you haven't been privy to my appliance issues, let me recap...the fucking fridge hates me. Since moving in to my very cute, cozy with an amazing view of Las Vegas even though I live in the ghetto condo, my refrigerator has stopped cooling 3 times. Ask me how many times I've gone to the grocery store since moving into said cute ghetto condo... yes.. 3. But this time..my beautiful ,organic, fair trade goodies will not be spoiled. No way am I wasting another $100 of groceries or playing the guessing game of whether or not I will be in the ER with food poisoning (Thank You cute hunky, muscle bound doctor for getting me in and out in 2 1/2 hours). So I packed that shit up in the uber cute 'save the planet' reusable grocery bags and took my happy ass and all my cold foods to work. You bet your sweet ass I used my work refrigerator to store my food. And as it is still there, monopolizing space and tempting over worked, under paid, highly stressed out nurses to possibly eat it..I am looking for a foster fridge. A loving environment where my cold foods can rest easy knowing that they will not perish from this earth without giving the pleasure they were born to give. I have no stipulations as to the family situation of my foster fridge. Single parent, fine. Bickering, middle aged assholes, great. My requirement is only that you leave a little for me. My Cilantro Pesto naan pizzas, my yummy vanilla Kefir, the ever so irresistable frozen strawberry bars with chunks of real strawberries..have one..just leave some for me so that in 6 years when I find a suitable, long term cooling device for my beautiful, organic, fair trade goodies .. I can enjoy them as their rightful owner.
And God, I apologize for my assholeyness in previous blog. I am deeply apologetic for my blasphemy, and will serve a just penance. But God, could you send a repairman that doesn't look at me like I'm a doe eyed pea brained dimwit, who will listen to my explanation of abbarant refrigerator behavior and preferably not be a COMPLETE FUCKING MORON! Would be much appreciated. Respectfully, your faithful servant, Brooke.