I generally wear my emotions on my sleeve, my face, and my voice, shoot, even in my exhale. I'm guessing there isn't a lot of surprises when interacting with me. Although, my seriousness and my frustration can look incredibly alike. Things have come up in the recent past about my "personality" at work. It has bothered me tremendously and to be honest, I'm sick of thinking about it. But with that being said, I can't drop it just yet.
The only person who has written an incident report on me, is myself, in 20 years of nursing (although this is under the assumption that I would be told if I had been written up, maybe that's not how it happens). I have never and will never claim that I have never made a mistake. It seems ridiculous to even say that because I don't know anyone that would say they are the perfect nurse. And yet, clinical error seems to carry less weight than an error in communication or interaction with other staff. When I'm snarky, in a bad mood, I will apologize for it, even to people that my 'attitude' wasn't directed at. My mannerisms, dry sense of humor, and snappy wit apparently offend people. In other words, I cross everyone's "bitch" threshold much lower than I knew. Well, here in Kentucky anyway. So, this is what bothers me- I'm not easy to work with because I can basically call bullshit when people are making up answers, not taking responsibility for their error, and when I won't stand for a double standard. So, instead of festering and going to the boss about something that I think grown folks should be able to resolve between each other, I get to the bottom of it right there. You start laughing when I am talking about an issue at hand, I'm going to ask what you think is so funny. My co-workers see you rolling your eyes as I'm trying to help you get your job done quicker- because you didn't do it right in the first place, I'm gonna confront you with it. The last time I checked, this is a workplace and not a playground. If you want to sit around while I do work that will eventually need to be done, then don't get upset when I have something to say about you taking a break, or leaving when there are things that need to be done at the moment. If you think I'm bossy, it's because in my book you aren't enough of a self-starter, or self-motivated to see something and do something about it when something needs to be done. Kind of like the military- only doing what's been told to you to do...not allowed in nursing, at least not how I was raised as a nurse. If you come to me and ask me how things are done, but then don't ask for feedback on something that is made permanent, you've completely shot yourself in the foot because now you've made me just a person you need something from and not a co-worker. If you agree that I shouldn't have made my job so important to me, by caring so much about the patient outcomes, and customer service to not just the patients but with the staff, that I should just think of it as a job, then I don't want to work with you. Because you'll be the same person that says, "don't start doing that because they'll expect you to do it all the time, and it's not our job".
When I apply for the position that I am already doing and training your new staff to do, and you don't tell me what is really going on or why you haven't decided to interview me yet, I'll figure it out myself. People talk.
And guess what- if I had meant the things that someone overheard me say but never clarified with us that it was an inside joke between me and the other person, and you believed I really said it seriously to another person, you should have fired me. The fact that not only did you not fire me, you never asked me about it, or asked my side of it. And apparently since you are holding it against me then you believe it to be true (and not the reality of it being the hard time friends give each other- because, you know, I'm just a nurse), which means you would tolerate that foul behavior, that I believe only a psychopath would have in the workplace. Thanks, but no thanks.
The only person who has written an incident report on me, is myself, in 20 years of nursing (although this is under the assumption that I would be told if I had been written up, maybe that's not how it happens). I have never and will never claim that I have never made a mistake. It seems ridiculous to even say that because I don't know anyone that would say they are the perfect nurse. And yet, clinical error seems to carry less weight than an error in communication or interaction with other staff. When I'm snarky, in a bad mood, I will apologize for it, even to people that my 'attitude' wasn't directed at. My mannerisms, dry sense of humor, and snappy wit apparently offend people. In other words, I cross everyone's "bitch" threshold much lower than I knew. Well, here in Kentucky anyway. So, this is what bothers me- I'm not easy to work with because I can basically call bullshit when people are making up answers, not taking responsibility for their error, and when I won't stand for a double standard. So, instead of festering and going to the boss about something that I think grown folks should be able to resolve between each other, I get to the bottom of it right there. You start laughing when I am talking about an issue at hand, I'm going to ask what you think is so funny. My co-workers see you rolling your eyes as I'm trying to help you get your job done quicker- because you didn't do it right in the first place, I'm gonna confront you with it. The last time I checked, this is a workplace and not a playground. If you want to sit around while I do work that will eventually need to be done, then don't get upset when I have something to say about you taking a break, or leaving when there are things that need to be done at the moment. If you think I'm bossy, it's because in my book you aren't enough of a self-starter, or self-motivated to see something and do something about it when something needs to be done. Kind of like the military- only doing what's been told to you to do...not allowed in nursing, at least not how I was raised as a nurse. If you come to me and ask me how things are done, but then don't ask for feedback on something that is made permanent, you've completely shot yourself in the foot because now you've made me just a person you need something from and not a co-worker. If you agree that I shouldn't have made my job so important to me, by caring so much about the patient outcomes, and customer service to not just the patients but with the staff, that I should just think of it as a job, then I don't want to work with you. Because you'll be the same person that says, "don't start doing that because they'll expect you to do it all the time, and it's not our job".
When I apply for the position that I am already doing and training your new staff to do, and you don't tell me what is really going on or why you haven't decided to interview me yet, I'll figure it out myself. People talk.
And guess what- if I had meant the things that someone overheard me say but never clarified with us that it was an inside joke between me and the other person, and you believed I really said it seriously to another person, you should have fired me. The fact that not only did you not fire me, you never asked me about it, or asked my side of it. And apparently since you are holding it against me then you believe it to be true (and not the reality of it being the hard time friends give each other- because, you know, I'm just a nurse), which means you would tolerate that foul behavior, that I believe only a psychopath would have in the workplace. Thanks, but no thanks.
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