My life, like yours, has unfolded in every passing second. We all know how fragile life really is when faced with a sudden loss, a tragic event, or even the absence of something that we thought was to come, but doesn't. There are monumental moments we can all probably pinpoint and say "everything changed at that point" or that somehow things were never the same. Imagining my life plotted out by monumental moments, like a connect the dot puzzle, I can say for certain that the image would be unfocused, the dots not even connecting in some cases.
Like a Magic Eye print, the story of my life would need to be viewed with the ability to relax the eyes and forget what it is you think you should be seeing. I wonder if this is how God works with us to make the big picture, a lifetime of moments.
I think it is safe to say that it is in our grief, pain and struggle that we grow stronger. Stronger in the getting up and more resistant to the knocking down. I have this- idea- floating in and out of focus. This straw that I've been grasping at and it goes something like this: If we got to see that Magic Eye print of our lives before we had to live them, in detail that we would never again see, how might that affect the living of life? Do we, from a depth of our soul that, for all intents and purposes, can not be known while we are living- make monumental moment decisions for the sake of the greatest good in all the lives affected? Do we leave a love to spare a greater pain in the staying? Do we accept the cruelty of painful loss so unimaginable in order to ensure the fate of another? Are we somehow allowed to live blinded to our significance, whether far greater or far lesser than we imagine? In a way, it would be the cosmic reality of "if I knew then what I know now". What if we do and in some way we have orchestrated the very fold of each passing second?
Would you sacrifice your youth for success? Would you endure the loss of a child for the creation of many more? Would you push your life to it's pain threshold to maximize the equal but opposite reaction of joy? By choosing to never marry, are you saving someone or something far bigger than your personal reach can go? Would you choose the middle ground and live a life that is a dull shade of brown? Is it better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all? I guess it depends on how far that ripple might go.
When our greatest strength escapes us and the ability to defend our life or the lives of those we love comes to pass, what might it be allowing in the seemingly perpetual unfolding of time? I can't imagine that anyone would chose the path of a suicide bomber, unless the suicide bomber knows something so profoundly life altering (without really knowing he knows) that death is kinder. The idea is very flawed. As a matter of fact, it is a fanciful daydream to somehow condone bad past behaviors, a way to soften the gut wrenching pain of any one of life's many wounding weapons. It in some way cheapens the very experiences that are capable of transforming one simple life.
I am grateful for the pain. I am grateful for the hate. I am grateful for the cruelty of another human being. Because each moment of being punched in the throat by life, was just more tension added in the opposite direction for love and joy. Don't shield yourself from possible pain or ridicule. Don't do your children a disservice by letting them get trophies when they lose. Allow the hard parts of life to come as they may because the beauty of the opposite direction is where fulfillment lives.
Like a Magic Eye print, the story of my life would need to be viewed with the ability to relax the eyes and forget what it is you think you should be seeing. I wonder if this is how God works with us to make the big picture, a lifetime of moments.
I think it is safe to say that it is in our grief, pain and struggle that we grow stronger. Stronger in the getting up and more resistant to the knocking down. I have this- idea- floating in and out of focus. This straw that I've been grasping at and it goes something like this: If we got to see that Magic Eye print of our lives before we had to live them, in detail that we would never again see, how might that affect the living of life? Do we, from a depth of our soul that, for all intents and purposes, can not be known while we are living- make monumental moment decisions for the sake of the greatest good in all the lives affected? Do we leave a love to spare a greater pain in the staying? Do we accept the cruelty of painful loss so unimaginable in order to ensure the fate of another? Are we somehow allowed to live blinded to our significance, whether far greater or far lesser than we imagine? In a way, it would be the cosmic reality of "if I knew then what I know now". What if we do and in some way we have orchestrated the very fold of each passing second?
Would you sacrifice your youth for success? Would you endure the loss of a child for the creation of many more? Would you push your life to it's pain threshold to maximize the equal but opposite reaction of joy? By choosing to never marry, are you saving someone or something far bigger than your personal reach can go? Would you choose the middle ground and live a life that is a dull shade of brown? Is it better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all? I guess it depends on how far that ripple might go.
When our greatest strength escapes us and the ability to defend our life or the lives of those we love comes to pass, what might it be allowing in the seemingly perpetual unfolding of time? I can't imagine that anyone would chose the path of a suicide bomber, unless the suicide bomber knows something so profoundly life altering (without really knowing he knows) that death is kinder. The idea is very flawed. As a matter of fact, it is a fanciful daydream to somehow condone bad past behaviors, a way to soften the gut wrenching pain of any one of life's many wounding weapons. It in some way cheapens the very experiences that are capable of transforming one simple life.
I am grateful for the pain. I am grateful for the hate. I am grateful for the cruelty of another human being. Because each moment of being punched in the throat by life, was just more tension added in the opposite direction for love and joy. Don't shield yourself from possible pain or ridicule. Don't do your children a disservice by letting them get trophies when they lose. Allow the hard parts of life to come as they may because the beauty of the opposite direction is where fulfillment lives.
No comments:
Post a Comment