So there I was...in Walmart...during this holiday shopping season, which tells you right there that I am just askin for it. I really thought that I had the appropriate mind set. You know..holiday cheer, patience with the people, and low expectations for any type of speed at the check out. Needless to say the mind set I ended up with was "Do NOT ram that woman with your cart... or this fat man riding the Walmart scooter taking up the whole frickin aisle." The apathy exuded by the check out person was palpable (really I don't know if it was a man or a woman- more like a slug morphed into the body of a hemaphrodite with the pleasant attitude of a Nazi war criminal). Seriously..there should be warning labels on the doors of Walmart. Enter at your own risk...sanity left in parking lot (and even that's a stretch...my life has flashed in front of my eyes more than once trying to navigate out of that damn place...backing out of parking spots should be an Olympic sport..really Miss Fancy Pants in your big white Escalade, you're going to SPEED UP as I try and back out?) Give me a break people. I love the $9.98 red sweater I got at Walmart, but I'm pretty sure I don't need to spend $2000 in car repair bills because you were in a hurry to find a parking spot near the front door just to get a bargain. And what is the purpose of the greeter? I don't find them all that pleasant, what with their judgmental up and down stare of what?? the fact that my clothes don't have holes in them, that my pants aren't riding up the crack of my ass, that I'm not smuggling in an AK-47 to blow all ya'll to pieces?? Greet this granny!
It's no wonder Amazon got a ton of my business this year. Not that I actually bought any Christmas gifts at Walmart.. I mean it is the one store that my family in Indiana has access to, I don't want to risk duplicates! But there are times when venturing into Walmart is a necessary evil.
I have to stop thinking about it because it's beyond irritating to think that this very line of thinking is only feeding into the negative cog that exists in the Walmart world. The low expectations and disgruntled workers will continue to be so when irritated and annoyed shoppers continue to shop there. And really isn't this true of most things? Our perceptions and expectations really shape our reality. I think the key to real, honest happiness is to embrace the fact that we are not entitled to a hassle free, off without a hitch shopping experience. Or dining experience. Or flight experience. Customer service?!?! Hell.. it barely exists anymore. We are to be grateful and smitten with the very existence of commerce and freedoms like travel and Starbuck's drive thrus, regardless of how unpleasant these transactions are that delivers these goods into our eager hands.
Wait. Fuck that. Customer Service is and should be a priority for any business. We work hard for the money we make, just like all of the workers in the industries providing these goods and services. No one is entitled, but everyone deserves respect. Respect for other people's time, money and personal space. That means you little Miss Escalade huffing and puffing in line with your 25 items when the line is clearly marked as 20 items or less. That also means you Mr. Harvard trained doctor with an ego the size of Texas, knock before you enter a patient's room, whose door is closed because they are sitting on the bedside commode shitting their brains out. We can all be better about being respectful of the people we share this planet with. Our co-workers, our neighbors, our friends and family, and yes the fat guy on the scooter, and bitchy Escalade chick all deserve respect - because it's their planet too.
Dear Buddha- I know that Christmas is all for the glory of Jesus Christ, and for the awesome score of gifts we all get in celebration of his birth (did I get that right?) But I would humbly ask for your influence on my ever shortening fuse this holiday season, so that I may not end up on the evening news for T-boning the bitch in the Escalade in the Walmart parking lot. Your faithful servant, Brooke "sorry I called her a bitch" Albertson
